I wrote about my friendship with Sara and how I couldn’t say goodbye to her when I left Afghanistan. Today I want to tell you all about why Sara was so special to me.
She was the only friend I had back then. Since I had no other friends, Sara would tell me I should try to make more. At first, I told her I didn’t need anyone else because she was enough.
Later I took her advice and tried to make some friends, but it went really bad for me because I am a Hazara and at the school where I was studying, few Hazara girls studied. So, whoever I wanted to speak to make friends with, she would ignore me. I felt the school was designed for non-Hazaras. I didn’t realize this until recently when I, indirectly, witnessed similar discrimination against my Black or Latin friends here in America.
How do I know it was discrimination? Well, some people looked at me differently and didn’t treat me the same as other kids. Here in America, I also see some people treat Black and Latin girls differently. The other thing I remember from Afghanistan is that because I was Hazara, some of the kids and even teachers would say mean things or just ignore me like I wasn’t there. Here, though, teachers don’t do that, but other kids do, and I really hate it.
The reason I really hate it is because, at the time, in Afghanistan, it made me feel really sad and lonely, and I didn’t want to go to school. I even told my mom several times that I didn’t want to go to school. I remember feeling like maybe I wasn’t as good as the other kids; just because I was a Hazara, I didn’t have the qualities other kids had. I can feel the same for my Black and Tatin friends here in America. My skin is white, which allows me to be friends with white kids, but because I come from a minority background, I come along with Black and Latin friends too. So, I get to know both sides of the story and see both sides of the coin, if you know what I mean.
America, at least, should not be like this. My father always told us that America is the ideal country for kids like us who come from minority backgrounds. But I see different things here, it feels worst than Afghanistan, sometimes.
But things got better when I got to elementary school in Afghanistan. Half of the people in our elementary school were Hazaras. The teachers were Hazara. So, there were not mean people anymore, and I felt braver. Sara kept telling me to talk to other kids, so I did. I started making more friends and it was actually really fun! I’m glad I listened to Sara.
Now, here I am trying to make a friend like Sara who I could go to when I need to ask things about American culture. But I have not found that best friend yet. Hopefully, she is hiding somewhere and will eventually come out to save me, just like Sara did in Afghanistan.
Also, I’m sorry I didn’t post last week because it was the Eid holidays, and I was really busy with my family. Next week, I’ll tell you all about Eid and the fun things we did, and the week after that, I’ll share a cool story about Zamzam Water in Saudi Arabia. Thanks for understanding, and see you soon!
7 Comments
What your father means is that the teachers in America would never do discrimination, as you said. Well maybe in some places they would but then parents can complain to the principal or file a discrimination lawsuit against the school.
Most children your age are immature compared to you. But I would advise you to tell the teacher or tell your black and Latin friends to tell the teacher if white kids are mean to them. Similarly to what I said before in America you can always report bullying to the teacher.
What you should learn from this is that there will always be bad people in any society. A good society is not one in which nobody is bad, but in which there is always someone you can go to for help. This is what America tries to be and what America tried to spread to Afghanistan.
Please tell your father that I thank him for his service. I found your blog from Will Selber.
And I don’t mean to suggest kids your age are bad people. As I said they are immature and need to learn and that can happen if you tell the teacher.
What I mean is that sometimes adults are bad and likewise you need to tell someone more powerful to get help. Even some adults learn to be better genuinely, but some don’t, but nonetheless stop doing bad things if they are afraid of the authorities. Which is important because you cannot change everybody.
Dear Varun,
Thank you so much. You are such a good person. Will helped us get visas for the US and come here so you are his friend you are my family’s friend too.
I will remember your advises. Please stay supportive and keep reading and sharing my blog.
Well I don’t know Will personally but I follow him on social media. But thank you so much.
Sorry that was me – varun
This breaks my heart. You are not wrong, we need to love people blindly. My work has taken me to many different environments where I have interacted with people from many different backgrounds. I always consider we are all brothers and sisters, brought together by a God who wants us to learn to love each other despite (and because of) our differences. I know your father — he is a good man who have taught me much about having respect for others.
I hope you will eventually find those who will love you without any bias. Please keep smiling — you are special and Allah certainly knows your heart, even if others don’t yet.
Uncle,
Thank you so much for these kind words. My father told me how you serve in a very dangerous place right now. You are a symbole of bravery for me! I am pround of my father with his such amazing friends!